Skip to main content

Alaska, oh Alaska

Today I have several stories about Alaska. Due to my job, I have frequent contact with Alaskinians, and I have come to believe that they are from another planet. Here is why:

1) Last year I talked to a woman who was worried that her son wouldn't be able to take is final exam from us in time. This is a fair enough concern...until you hear her reasoning. The student goes to a charter school that is on the side of a river. The test is sitting at the charter school ready for the student to take. The student lives on the other side of the river in some dorms. In the summer time, they cross the river by boat. In the winter time, they walk across the ice. This must have been fall, because at this time, the river was too frozen to use a boat, but not frozen enough to walk across. So he couldn't GO TO SCHOOL!!! I'm sorry, what?!?!? Have they not invented bridges yet?

2) A couple days ago we encountered a lady who was taking a university class from us and lived in a town of approximately, oh....30 people. One requirement with our university classes is that they have to take their exams at a college testing center. The closest testing center to her was 150 miles away, AND, it was apparently impossible to leave, or very near impossible to leave this little town. They probably needed snowmobiles or duct-taped airplanes in order to leave. So we allowed her to take the exam there with a local proctor. But wait, they can't leave. Does that mean everyone there is inbred?

3)Here's my last example. It actually happened today, and is probably what sparked this idea for my blog. I was talking to a librarian from an Alaskin high school that was in a town of about 900 people. She wanted to be certified as a proctor for our tests, but we didn't certify her because she doesn't work full time. So she proceeded to to explain that their superintendant recently resigned, their principal resigned, and there was no assistant principle. I asked her who was currently in charge of the school. The best answer she could give me was there was a full time SECRETARY who was there. A secretary is in charge of the school? Who are these people?!?

Ok, that is all. I have learned a valuable lesson from these experiences that I hope you will learn as well....Never EVER move to Alaska.
Labels:

Comments

Wanna Be Employeed said…
How rude! Hope no Alaskans are reading your blog. However, it was funny. Keep me entertained.
MOM
June 5, 2008 at 4:54 PM
Andrea Jolene said…
My favorite phrase was "The student goes to a charter school that is on the side of a river"...I was hoping you'd mention a van. Alaskans are weird - all their little exceptions they insist on. Psh. Now rural Utah - thems folks be normal.
June 5, 2008 at 6:43 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Curb Appeal Galore

 This post is to document the journey our outside of our house has been on over the last few years. A lot of these projects I took on this summer, and a few I did earlier. I am so happy with where we are currently at, but still have some plans before it's finished. So, here is what it looked like the day we bought the house. Seven years ago. Don't let the "grass" fool you. It's just weeds. And the ugly brown window trims paired with the ridiculously old glass in the windows and the green brick with maroon grout. Not too pretty. We have since painted the door, trim, and replaced the windows. Also replaced the porch light and house numbers.  This spring we also had a new concrete half circle driveway installed. We live on a busy street and our front yard is useless and our driveway is tiny. So now we have much more functionality, less weeds, and overall happiness. After the driveway was installed, I also ripped out the rest of the grass and installed some decorative...
Post a Comment
Read more

Things I've learned about babies

These are things I never realized or knew about babies that I have learned since having one of my own! -Babies are grimy. I still don't understand how they can get so dirty. How did you get all this dirt under your fingernails!? You can't even DO anything with your fingers! -You know that soft spot on their head? You can totally see their heartbeat in it sometimes. It's kind of disconcerting. -Once you finally figure out some type of routine or normalcy......it changes. -Apparently babies can still "bite" their tongues, even though they don't have teeth. I guess technically they're gumming their tongue? Which doesn't sound too painful, but when a red pinched blood vessel looking thing shows up on the tip of your baby's tongue, you realize that it might be a bit painful. -Babies have to be pretty tough, they experience a lot of pain! From being born (it just can't feel great being squeezed through a birth canal), to teething...for mont...
Post a Comment
Read more

Good and Bad Discoveries of the Week

This week we have discovered the secret to life in Provo!! I am serious, it's the best thing ever, and everyone who lives in or near Provo, must take advantage of this secret to life. 1. Go to the Winsong movie theater 2. Purchase a ticket for "Take" (preferably Matinee) 3. Preferably, do not watch this movie because it is a waste of time. But if you have nothing better to do with yourself, go ahead and watch it. 4. Take your movie stub to the dollar theater located by Costco in Orem 5. Finally, enjoy UNLIMITED free movies at this theater. That's right, I said UNLIMITED FREE MOVIES at the dollar theater. I know this sounds to good to be true, but it is oh so true. I have done it, and it works. Last night, we watched a free Indiana Jones from this movie ticket. It was amazing. The movie Take is pretty worthless, but the reward is priceless. Ok, so on to the bad discoveries of the week. I have recently become aware of the advantages and disadvantages that tag along with...
6 comments
Read more