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Alaska, oh Alaska

Today I have several stories about Alaska. Due to my job, I have frequent contact with Alaskinians, and I have come to believe that they are from another planet. Here is why:

1) Last year I talked to a woman who was worried that her son wouldn't be able to take is final exam from us in time. This is a fair enough concern...until you hear her reasoning. The student goes to a charter school that is on the side of a river. The test is sitting at the charter school ready for the student to take. The student lives on the other side of the river in some dorms. In the summer time, they cross the river by boat. In the winter time, they walk across the ice. This must have been fall, because at this time, the river was too frozen to use a boat, but not frozen enough to walk across. So he couldn't GO TO SCHOOL!!! I'm sorry, what?!?!? Have they not invented bridges yet?

2) A couple days ago we encountered a lady who was taking a university class from us and lived in a town of approximately, oh....30 people. One requirement with our university classes is that they have to take their exams at a college testing center. The closest testing center to her was 150 miles away, AND, it was apparently impossible to leave, or very near impossible to leave this little town. They probably needed snowmobiles or duct-taped airplanes in order to leave. So we allowed her to take the exam there with a local proctor. But wait, they can't leave. Does that mean everyone there is inbred?

3)Here's my last example. It actually happened today, and is probably what sparked this idea for my blog. I was talking to a librarian from an Alaskin high school that was in a town of about 900 people. She wanted to be certified as a proctor for our tests, but we didn't certify her because she doesn't work full time. So she proceeded to to explain that their superintendant recently resigned, their principal resigned, and there was no assistant principle. I asked her who was currently in charge of the school. The best answer she could give me was there was a full time SECRETARY who was there. A secretary is in charge of the school? Who are these people?!?

Ok, that is all. I have learned a valuable lesson from these experiences that I hope you will learn as well....Never EVER move to Alaska.
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Comments

Wanna Be Employeed said…
How rude! Hope no Alaskans are reading your blog. However, it was funny. Keep me entertained.
MOM
June 5, 2008 at 4:54 PM
Andrea Jolene said…
My favorite phrase was "The student goes to a charter school that is on the side of a river"...I was hoping you'd mention a van. Alaskans are weird - all their little exceptions they insist on. Psh. Now rural Utah - thems folks be normal.
June 5, 2008 at 6:43 PM
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