Light-Black And Decker

Here are some conversations at work/school I have observed recently. 1.Teacher: "Teach me." Students' reply: "To walk in the light! Ha" 2. Teacher: "Did anyone do anything exciting over the weekend?" Student: "I got my Temple Recommend!!!" 3. Teacher: "What are the first three words of the US Constitution?!" Student: "Um... We believe in?" Me: "...." Man there are waayyy too many Mormons around here.

Today I looked at my birth certificate for the first time. I mean, really looked at it. And I found out that I am supposed to be dead. Apparently I died on March 6, 1987. Because that's the day that my birth certificate was signed, and my birth certificate says I'm dead. Seriously. I am not going to scan it to show you because who knows what creepy things could be done if that were online. But at the top of the paper, it says "Certificate of Live Birth" just like it is supposed to. Then it has a bunch of information about me and where I was born and my parents and where they're from, and all that typical stuff. Underneath all that it says: "This certifies that the foregoing is a correct and complete transcript of a record of death on file with the Klamath County Department of Health Services." (italics and bold added) Under this statement is a very clear stamp and seal of approval and signature by the Deputy Registrar. Uh.... What does one do with tha...

This is how my morning went today: I walked outside on my way to work when I dropped my lunch on the ground. The lid flew off, my lunch ended up sprayed across the ground, no longer in its tupperware to be kept safe until it went into my belly. Then I got to work and went to my first class. Upon sitting down, I started squirming. My thoughts: "Ouch, something is wrong. Something is hurting. What is going on? Ow. Squirm, augh. Must get to bathroom to investigate." I get to the bathroom, and find a lovely thumbtack stuck into my pants. Upon removal, everything goes back to normal. Lucky for me, no permanent damage has been caused. I have a friend who thinks she had a bad day at work because a girl came up and gave her a piece of paper, then quickly walked away. Upon reading this paper, it was found to have only two words on it: "You Suck." I think my physical pain exceeds her emotional pain.