Skip to main content

The Undead

Today I looked at my birth certificate for the first time. I mean, really looked at it. And I found out that I am supposed to be dead. Apparently I died on March 6, 1987. Because that's the day that my birth certificate was signed, and my birth certificate says I'm dead.

Seriously.

I am not going to scan it to show you because who knows what creepy things could be done if that were online. But at the top of the paper, it says "Certificate of Live Birth" just like it is supposed to. Then it has a bunch of information about me and where I was born and my parents and where they're from, and all that typical stuff. Underneath all that it says:

"This certifies that the foregoing is a correct and complete transcript of a record of death on file with the Klamath County Department of Health Services." (italics and bold added)

Under this statement is a very clear stamp and seal of approval and signature by the Deputy Registrar.

Uh....

What does one do with that?

So here is my birth certificate, pretending to be a death certificate. Or maybe it's the other way around... Or MAYBE, maybe my parents had another daughter named Gina Gray, and she DID die, and then they found me on the streets right after and decided to adopt me and pretend I was her without telling anyone...and now the truth is out. Kind of like a Clark Kent scenario. Maybe I'm an alien just waiting to discover my awesome powers. The world better watch out, I am about to start experimenting!

Comments

Potters said…
I knew it!!! ;) That's crazy.
September 13, 2009 at 9:27 PM
Mrs. Jones said…
OMG! Are you serious?! That is super freaky.... ;)
September 14, 2009 at 8:05 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Curb Appeal Galore

 This post is to document the journey our outside of our house has been on over the last few years. A lot of these projects I took on this summer, and a few I did earlier. I am so happy with where we are currently at, but still have some plans before it's finished. So, here is what it looked like the day we bought the house. Seven years ago. Don't let the "grass" fool you. It's just weeds. And the ugly brown window trims paired with the ridiculously old glass in the windows and the green brick with maroon grout. Not too pretty. We have since painted the door, trim, and replaced the windows. Also replaced the porch light and house numbers.  This spring we also had a new concrete half circle driveway installed. We live on a busy street and our front yard is useless and our driveway is tiny. So now we have much more functionality, less weeds, and overall happiness. After the driveway was installed, I also ripped out the rest of the grass and installed some decorative...
Post a Comment
Read more

Things I've learned about babies

These are things I never realized or knew about babies that I have learned since having one of my own! -Babies are grimy. I still don't understand how they can get so dirty. How did you get all this dirt under your fingernails!? You can't even DO anything with your fingers! -You know that soft spot on their head? You can totally see their heartbeat in it sometimes. It's kind of disconcerting. -Once you finally figure out some type of routine or normalcy......it changes. -Apparently babies can still "bite" their tongues, even though they don't have teeth. I guess technically they're gumming their tongue? Which doesn't sound too painful, but when a red pinched blood vessel looking thing shows up on the tip of your baby's tongue, you realize that it might be a bit painful. -Babies have to be pretty tough, they experience a lot of pain! From being born (it just can't feel great being squeezed through a birth canal), to teething...for mont...
Post a Comment
Read more

Good and Bad Discoveries of the Week

This week we have discovered the secret to life in Provo!! I am serious, it's the best thing ever, and everyone who lives in or near Provo, must take advantage of this secret to life. 1. Go to the Winsong movie theater 2. Purchase a ticket for "Take" (preferably Matinee) 3. Preferably, do not watch this movie because it is a waste of time. But if you have nothing better to do with yourself, go ahead and watch it. 4. Take your movie stub to the dollar theater located by Costco in Orem 5. Finally, enjoy UNLIMITED free movies at this theater. That's right, I said UNLIMITED FREE MOVIES at the dollar theater. I know this sounds to good to be true, but it is oh so true. I have done it, and it works. Last night, we watched a free Indiana Jones from this movie ticket. It was amazing. The movie Take is pretty worthless, but the reward is priceless. Ok, so on to the bad discoveries of the week. I have recently become aware of the advantages and disadvantages that tag along with...
6 comments
Read more