Skip to main content

The Undead

Today I looked at my birth certificate for the first time. I mean, really looked at it. And I found out that I am supposed to be dead. Apparently I died on March 6, 1987. Because that's the day that my birth certificate was signed, and my birth certificate says I'm dead.

Seriously.

I am not going to scan it to show you because who knows what creepy things could be done if that were online. But at the top of the paper, it says "Certificate of Live Birth" just like it is supposed to. Then it has a bunch of information about me and where I was born and my parents and where they're from, and all that typical stuff. Underneath all that it says:

"This certifies that the foregoing is a correct and complete transcript of a record of death on file with the Klamath County Department of Health Services." (italics and bold added)

Under this statement is a very clear stamp and seal of approval and signature by the Deputy Registrar.

Uh....

What does one do with that?

So here is my birth certificate, pretending to be a death certificate. Or maybe it's the other way around... Or MAYBE, maybe my parents had another daughter named Gina Gray, and she DID die, and then they found me on the streets right after and decided to adopt me and pretend I was her without telling anyone...and now the truth is out. Kind of like a Clark Kent scenario. Maybe I'm an alien just waiting to discover my awesome powers. The world better watch out, I am about to start experimenting!

Comments

Potters said…
I knew it!!! ;) That's crazy.
September 13, 2009 at 9:27 PM
Mrs. Jones said…
OMG! Are you serious?! That is super freaky.... ;)
September 14, 2009 at 8:05 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Good and Bad Discoveries of the Week

This week we have discovered the secret to life in Provo!! I am serious, it's the best thing ever, and everyone who lives in or near Provo, must take advantage of this secret to life. 1. Go to the Winsong movie theater 2. Purchase a ticket for "Take" (preferably Matinee) 3. Preferably, do not watch this movie because it is a waste of time. But if you have nothing better to do with yourself, go ahead and watch it. 4. Take your movie stub to the dollar theater located by Costco in Orem 5. Finally, enjoy UNLIMITED free movies at this theater. That's right, I said UNLIMITED FREE MOVIES at the dollar theater. I know this sounds to good to be true, but it is oh so true. I have done it, and it works. Last night, we watched a free Indiana Jones from this movie ticket. It was amazing. The movie Take is pretty worthless, but the reward is priceless. Ok, so on to the bad discoveries of the week. I have recently become aware of the advantages and disadvantages that tag along with...
6 comments
Read more

Cake 2.0

Here is our second attempt at fondant covered, decorated cake. We're still working on getting things smoother looking and stuff. It's a chocolate cake with caramel filling. Unfortunately the caramel didn't turn out quite like it was supposed to. It turned into basically sugar. It's probably because I was lazy and used margarine instead of butter. But it's still sweet and that's what's important right?
6 comments
Read more

Going Away Present

Tomorrow is going to be my last day of work at good old Independent Study. It's kind of sad, but also kind of exciting and scary all at the same time. It's sad because I've been here for so long. This is the longest I've ever had one job, and I have made a lot of really good friends here. It's exciting because I will get to have a lot of time off to do whatever I want during the day! And it's scary because I don't have another job lined up yet. After 6 months of applying and interviewing, I'm still none the better for it. I was lucky enough to have one co-worker who cared enough about me and my departure to give me a going-away present. I don't really know why I'm sharing it with you, but here it is: This is the picture he used as a reference to update mine with: Any resemblance? It took him two days to create this picture. He said I was wise enough to become a General Authority. I told him I would have to be a man for that. So he decided to mak...
7 comments
Read more