Recently we have plunged into the slowest time of the year at work. This means that we go minutes upon minutes in between phone calls, leaving so many empty minutes to be filled with our creative juices. Some people use this time to complete homework for classes. Others, think of what if scenarios that they then try to prove...
Today was another particularly long and boring day. There were three of us sitting at the front desk available to help any student who would come walking through the door. When no such students ever showed up, we began to talk about the baseball bat that is stored in our drawer at the front desk. Several months ago we had a training on what to do if a raving gunman comes into our building about to shoot everyone to death. Yeah, sound pretty morbid? It was. But I guess it's good to be prepared. We even learned how to play dead. Anyway, after this way too informative meeting, our director decided to make us a little more prepared by placing metal baseball bats strategically throughout the office. To this day, we still argue over the actual purpose of the bat. Is it to break the windows so we can all safely plunge to our deaths out the back of the building? Or are we supposed to distract the shooter while we try to bash his head in before he can shoot too many more times? No one really knows. Neither option seems too appealing to me, and unfortunately, said director has since passed away...so we will never know what he wanted!
While we were on this string of thoughts, we began to think of safe places to hide if a gunman were to suddenly burst through the door. We were told we should throw computers and monitors at him, but I think it would take hours just to get everything all unplugged so you could even pick up a stupid monitor, let alone any other piece of hardware. I suggested under the desk, which would in no way provide a blockade for the bullets since push tacks can be pushed all the way through the walls, but it may be a good hiding place so he doesn't know to shoot there, right? Then, my coworker had a brilliant idea. She says "I would hide in the drawer!" I challenged, no, you couldn't fit in the drawer. "Yes I could! I could totally fit in the drawer!" At this point, I filled my role of being a responsible, trustworthy, student supervisor by encouraging her to do so...right now. It's better to be sure now then try it when it actually counts and have it not work, right? I quickly scanned my surroundings...Director just left on lunch, our bosses are in a meeting, no students are here, PERFECT TIMING! So we quickly opened the bottom drawer, pulled out all the old nasty clothes that are older than I am, as well as the random odds and ends left in there. She then announced that it was too dirty and she didn't want to get dirty. Not to worry, problem solved. We broke out clorox wipes and that blowy air stuff that you're supposed to use to blow dust out of a keyboard. Cleaned it all up nice and tidy. Now is her shining moment. And oh yes, she did not let me down. She climbed right into that drawer and got all squished into it as best she could. Unfortunately it wasn't enough for us to be able to actually close the drawer with her inside, but it was pretty darn close. If only it was a couple inches longer! I took some pictures on my cell phone of this wonderful moment, but I am not able to get those pictures onto this blog. So you're going to have to work with what I got. Picture a drawer kind of like this, emptied out of course:
With a woman in a position kind of like this:
It's a thing of beauty, isn't it?
Oh, and I guess I should tell the ending of the story as well. As she was getting out, a loud popping noise occurred from the side of the drawer, and it promptly fell to the ground. Uhh....
We got a little frantic when we realized we couldn't close the drawer. We thought we put it back up on the rung like it was supposed to be, but it just wouldn't shut dang it! Both of our first reactions was this: "AUGH, What story can we tell that will be convincing as to why this drawer is broken stuck open?" We couldn't come up with anything. Luckily, after about 5 minutes, we were able to get it closed...mostly. It still pops a little, we'll just say it's always done that!
Today was another particularly long and boring day. There were three of us sitting at the front desk available to help any student who would come walking through the door. When no such students ever showed up, we began to talk about the baseball bat that is stored in our drawer at the front desk. Several months ago we had a training on what to do if a raving gunman comes into our building about to shoot everyone to death. Yeah, sound pretty morbid? It was. But I guess it's good to be prepared. We even learned how to play dead. Anyway, after this way too informative meeting, our director decided to make us a little more prepared by placing metal baseball bats strategically throughout the office. To this day, we still argue over the actual purpose of the bat. Is it to break the windows so we can all safely plunge to our deaths out the back of the building? Or are we supposed to distract the shooter while we try to bash his head in before he can shoot too many more times? No one really knows. Neither option seems too appealing to me, and unfortunately, said director has since passed away...so we will never know what he wanted!
While we were on this string of thoughts, we began to think of safe places to hide if a gunman were to suddenly burst through the door. We were told we should throw computers and monitors at him, but I think it would take hours just to get everything all unplugged so you could even pick up a stupid monitor, let alone any other piece of hardware. I suggested under the desk, which would in no way provide a blockade for the bullets since push tacks can be pushed all the way through the walls, but it may be a good hiding place so he doesn't know to shoot there, right? Then, my coworker had a brilliant idea. She says "I would hide in the drawer!" I challenged, no, you couldn't fit in the drawer. "Yes I could! I could totally fit in the drawer!" At this point, I filled my role of being a responsible, trustworthy, student supervisor by encouraging her to do so...right now. It's better to be sure now then try it when it actually counts and have it not work, right? I quickly scanned my surroundings...Director just left on lunch, our bosses are in a meeting, no students are here, PERFECT TIMING! So we quickly opened the bottom drawer, pulled out all the old nasty clothes that are older than I am, as well as the random odds and ends left in there. She then announced that it was too dirty and she didn't want to get dirty. Not to worry, problem solved. We broke out clorox wipes and that blowy air stuff that you're supposed to use to blow dust out of a keyboard. Cleaned it all up nice and tidy. Now is her shining moment. And oh yes, she did not let me down. She climbed right into that drawer and got all squished into it as best she could. Unfortunately it wasn't enough for us to be able to actually close the drawer with her inside, but it was pretty darn close. If only it was a couple inches longer! I took some pictures on my cell phone of this wonderful moment, but I am not able to get those pictures onto this blog. So you're going to have to work with what I got. Picture a drawer kind of like this, emptied out of course:
With a woman in a position kind of like this:
It's a thing of beauty, isn't it?
Oh, and I guess I should tell the ending of the story as well. As she was getting out, a loud popping noise occurred from the side of the drawer, and it promptly fell to the ground. Uhh....
We got a little frantic when we realized we couldn't close the drawer. We thought we put it back up on the rung like it was supposed to be, but it just wouldn't shut dang it! Both of our first reactions was this: "AUGH, What story can we tell that will be convincing as to why this drawer is broken stuck open?" We couldn't come up with anything. Luckily, after about 5 minutes, we were able to get it closed...mostly. It still pops a little, we'll just say it's always done that!
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